September 16, 2009

Dear Friends,

As my old friend, Phil Summerlin is fond of saying, Shoot fire! Shoot fire! I just discovered that not everyone reads everything I write. Or if they read it, they don’t get the message. 
     Several weeks ago, I wrote in this space about my hope that we could have a civil conversation about health care and insurance reform. Civility, I said, is essential for a civilization to thrive. But the ability to have a civil discourse is more than a civic virtue. There is something essentially Christian about civility, because it is born of a fundamental respect for the other person, an attitude that seems to be in keeping with how Jesus asks us to treat each other.
     That Dear Friends appeared just two or three weeks ago. But Congressman Joe Wilson did not read what I wrote! Congressman Wilson, of course, is the person who shouted You lie! in the midst of President Obama’s speech to Congress about health care. Evidently Congressman Wilson thought that he was still in one of those town hall meetings where shouted interruptions masquerade as an exchange of ideas. The next day, Congressman Wilson apologized to the president, and the White House issued a gracious acceptance of his regret.
     Then this weekend, I learned that Serena Williams did not read my article! Called for a foot fault in her semi-final match against Kim Clijsters, Serena brandished her racquet at the line judge, and informed that judge of what she would like to do with a particular kind of tennis ball. Serena lost the point on the foot fault, and was then assessed a one point penalty for referee abuse, the latter point being match point. So Kim Clijsters won the semifinal without swinging her racquet on the last two points of the match. Two days later, Serena apologized to the line judge, Ms. Clijsters, the referee of the match, and tennis fans everywhere.
     Then on Sunday night, just as I was getting ready to go to bed, it became painfully apparent that Kanye West had not read what I wrote! We were watching the MTV awards, and were as surprised as everyone else when Taylor Swift won Best Female Video of the Year. Taylor had just taken the stage to give the usual Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I won speech, when K. West left his seat, jumped on the stage, took the microphone from Taylor’s hand and told everyone that Beyonce (also in the running for Best Female Video) had made one of the best videos ever made.  Taylor had your basic deer in the headlights look and left the stage. To her credit, when Beyonce won Video of the Year later in the evening, she invited Taylor back on the stage so that she could have her moment. The next day, Kanye West apologized to Taylor, MTV, and his fans. This little drama came to a startling conclusion Monday night when Jay Leno, on his first prime time talk show, asked Kanye what his mother would have thought of his behavior. Kanye was reduced to silent tears.
     Two or three observations. First, everybody messes up. We say things we don’t mean or say things we mean when we shouldn’t say them. You’ve done it, I’ve done it, so let’s not get too self - righteous about this. And second, when we mess up, it is a good thing to apologize. I am sorry are three of the most powerful words in the English language.
     But third, let’s not get in the habit of saying whatever we want to say just because we disagree or are angry or think our opinion is closer to the truth that someone else’s. Civility also requires a measure of self-control, so let’s not get in the destructive habit of engaging the tongue without engaging the brain. Apologies are all well and good, but the better way is not to need to apologize. That is a mark of maturity and civility, and shoot fire, those are virtues we need to be teaching to our kids. Maybe we need to think about Mom a bit more often.

Glad to be your pastor,

Dr. Michael Mooty,
Senior Minister